Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Why Pirate101 Makes No Sense Part One: Deadly Beginnings

     Now don't get me wrong I love Pirate101, but the game has A LOT of flaws. First and foremost it starts with our parents. Our parents loved us very much, correct? HELL NO! I swear to god if you look at the story deeper are parents were a bunch of dead beat assholes! No matter how you look at it our parents left us alone/abandoned us at some point or another. During the beginning puppet show we are asked how our parents died. Which would seem sad but how exactly did they die? Some of the puppet show answers prove that they could still be alive! Answers like 'Lost at Sea (sky, whatever)' and 'Storm' could just mean they literally are still alive just managed to get lost somehow and no one has found them. However ALL the puppet shows share a single flaw that is kinda major...WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE!

 "Oh...your parents were killed by a giant squid in Aquila, I feel so sorry for your loss Pirate. Wait a minute...the squid killed your parents, ate all the passengers and destroyed the ship. Yet you are here alive to tell the tale?"
   Conversations like these would come up if the game was realistic and made sense. No matter how your parents died, where were you to have survived? If your parents weren't complete jerks that abandoned you, wouldn't you have gone down with the squid? Get lost in that same storm as your parents? Exactly. Some can argue with mutiny or the armada you might have done nothing wrong and so they freed you, right? Except, you weren't raised by armada troops or would even want to grow up with a bunch of pirates that just murdered our parents in front of you! So even those answers wouldn't make sense. The only logical answer to how we managed to survive without our parents' fate, is we were abandoned long before their death. It is sad and that just makes me wonder, why do we love them still? They must have left us so they could go out to wherever to eventually die!
     *This is talking later in the story so if you don't like spoilers don't read this, or if you don't care, read ahead it isn't too big of spoilers:
     Now we all know our Presidio companions correct? Birgus, Milo, Gasparde, ect. But what we don't know is how they even know our parents. We meet them and throughout the game we just hear them saying "I knew your parents once upon a time"

You: Okay...and somehow you know they died? Them: Ya! I was on their crew you see! You: So what your saying is you were on the same ship as my parents, as they were eaten alive by a vicious octopus... Them: Yup!You: ...and you somehow managed to escape the monster yourself, while avoiding the falling debris and the endless void below you?
Them: Yup!You: That makes sense...

     You see no matter how your parents died. How they knew your parents. Your Presidio companions face the same flaw as you do. How the hell did they escape from the same fate as your parents! Again even if they were part of the mutiny death. I find it very unlikely that they would act so politely to a person who they helped kill the parents of. This basically proves, even your closest connection to your parents wasn't there when they died.

    The last point I want to bring up is in Aquila. Specifically the oracle asking you to go into the weird snake place with the creepy blind ladies. The price for one question is 5 years of memory correct? Why is everyone freaking out over that request? "Oh no Pirate! You will lose the FIRST 5 years of your life!" WHO CARES! Does anyone even remember half the shit they do before they are even age 3-4? Whatever you do remember is very faint and blurry, not remembering important details. So alone you are only giving up around 2 years of memory. However this request also has a lot of questions. Is it 5 years of memory for everyone in your crew or just you? Because if my Presidio companion knows SO MUCH about my parents and how they died. Why do I even need to think it over? Your Presidio companions basically ARE your memory of your parents. Who as I mentioned before were a bunch of assholes who didn't even care about you, and only cared about money! Which you know what? Is what your pirate and his/her crew start to turn into. I will touch upon why pirates are a bunch of dicks in the future but for now I just want to talk about the flaws in the parent storyline. So great, you lost your memory. What has that done for you? You still barely knew your parents before hand and so you aren't missing much. Whatever you so desired to know you could have Dead Mike or Jack Russel fill you in on.

     Now the biggest flaw I think with this all is going to tie into everything I have stated today. How does anyone know how our parents died! Clearly we were of age 5 or younger when they were killed because in the memory loss quest we hear our companions state that we would lose ALL memory of our parents. So basically we were babies. Our Presidio companions weren't on board the ship that they were killed on and so it makes no sense for anyone to know how our parents died, or IF they even died! If you honestly think about it, no one should know how we died and this flaw is probably the one that messes up the whole game for me. I go along with it for the hell of it but we really need some explaining on, if we were (or anyone else was) there when it happened. Until that answer is resolved the story won't make much sense. Until then, the only explanation is, everyone is guessing they are dead. Our parents left us like a bunch of arrogant jackasses. And our memory wasn't a loss at all! I have been Fearless Nicholas Kent, Nicholas LionRider, whatever. And I will see you in part two when I discuss how much of a dick our pirate honestly is.

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